Man’s Best Friend

He doesn’t bark

He snorts

He doesn’t run

He waddles

His favourite food

Is anything

He sleeps on his back

His tongue protruding

And flapping as he snores

Loud as thunder

And his big brown eyes

Almost melt your heart

He nuzzles his chin

Into unsuspecting thighs

As he begs at the dinner table

Feed him kibbles

He’ll spit them out in disgust

Onto the tile floor

Greet him at the door

He’ll look right past you

Waiting for Mom to return

Try to play tug of war

Or talk to him like he’s

Your baby

He’ll look at you

Like you’re off your rocker

Tell him to rollover,

Play dead, high-five

Good luck with that

Unless you’ve got

Food to offer

Take him for a fun-filled day

At Doggy Daycare

He’ll throw up in the car

Shout “squirrel”

He’ll know if it’s a false alarm

Throw a ball for him

He won’t fetch it

Because he’s too “mature”

Leave him alone for too long

Be prepared to face the consequences

He’s prejudiced against big dogs

And he hates his own shadow

For some reason

People think he’s really cute

They try to pet him

And so of course he bites them

Try to hug him

He’ll reciprocate it

With a shower of sneezes

But you know he loves you

Because that’s what

Keeps you sane.


Katy Thompson
Block: 3
March 19, 2012